The Healing of America (Part 1 of 2)

 This has been a uniquely disturbing US Presidential election. As I write this post, only 3 weeks are left until Election Day, November 7th. Both Republicans, Democrats and Independents are weary of this most uncivil and unseemly campaign; unprecedented in modern American history.

Yes there were elections in the 1820’s and 30’s so toxic and mean that the shame and false accusations heaped upon Andrew Jackson’s wife caused her to die of a broken heart.  It was a “no holds barred” type of politics in the first 50 years of our Republic and I am very saddened to see us descend to this level again in the supposedly enlightened 21st Century.

Whatever your politics or preferences I am sure that you would agree that our democracy cannot thrive in an atmosphere of distrust, thuggery and mean spirited hate speech.  We heard just yesterday a candidate sowing the seeds of conspiracy and illegitimacy of our democratic process.  Unchecked, this could destroy our very soul and nation.  This is the atmosphere that destroyed the world’s first democracy, Athens.

What has happened to “morning in America”?  Where have “hope and change” gone, just 8 years after thrilling and empowering much of the nation?

Every problem has a spiritual solution and this time of nastiness and recrimination can be solved only by good will; brother and sisterhood and a large dose of empathy.  There also must be a few structural changes in our Election process.  (Parties must nominate as they did formerly, then the people elect)  Lest you think I am suggesting that we all hold hands and sing Kum Ba Ya around the campfire I would say that “it wouldn’t hurt” but it is not the medicine that our body politic and our national consciousness needs.

America has lost faith in its own mythology.  A people’s myths are the bedrock of their culture.  We sometimes think of a myth as something false.  That is often untrue.  A myth is a long held cultural tradition, usually based on truth.  Myths are the ideals upon which a nation is built.

What are America’s basic myths and why have so many forsaken them in the last decade?

The central idea of America is the American Dream:  This is the heart and soul of America.  If The Dream dies our nation dies a slow death from the inside out.  However the American Dream is not the American Promise.

Nothing is promised in a free society but equal protection of the laws and due process.  The American Dream simply means that anyone from anywhere is free to thrive or fail to the limits of their talent, hard work and character.  We are now all measured primarily by our talent, drive, character and the fruits of our labor.

There are no longer blue bloods, no privileged class, racial barriers and no nobility or royalty.  Every one of us, if we have the will and the talent and the guts, can become a Warren Buffet or a Colin Powell.

We can all, if we have the athleticism and put in the years of hard work, become a super star athlete no matter if we came from Beverly Hills or South Central LA, from Coral Gables or Liberty City.

Somehow the American Dream has become in the minds of many the American Guarantee.  Nothing is guaranteed in life, here or anywhere else.  To achieve the American dream you must have a thirst for it, a hunger for it that cannot be satisfied until it is achieved.  You have to sacrifice, persevere when the dark hours come and never, never give up.  Most importantly, you have to make wise choices every step of the way.

Particularly in America you must write the story of your life and produce the movie version with every thought, word and choice. You are solely responsible for the outcome.

What causes the American dream to go off the rails for so many?  Many, many people kill their American Dream with a rebellious spirit.  “I am sick and tired of school, no college for me!”  Poor choices at an early age can blight a life.

In 21st Century America, unless you invent something magnificent, or write the great American Novel,  you have just consigned yourself to a life in the working class, working long hours for an hourly wage.  One bad decision not quickly corrected is all it takes to turn the American Dream into paradise lost.

But weren’t things easier in the 50’s?

Weren’t we the greatest nation in the world in the 40’s, 50’s and early 60’s? What happened?  Wasn’t this the Golden Age of America?  It seemed that way to some but only if you were straight, White and Gentile and preferably Protestant.

Jim Crow was in its heyday and religious and ethnic bigotry was a way of life.  There were ethnic slurs for almost any nationality or ethnicity and they were used in daily conversation. Whole neighborhoods would move out if one person of color or unacceptable ethnicity moved in!  Seems unreal today but that was the United States of my childhood.  Not so golden for much of the population, was it?

What about those great jobs?  The days of walking down the street of your industrial Mid-Western or New England town with nothing but a high school diploma and getting that high paid union job at the mill or factory, complete with  fat pension and 100% health coverage, are long gone and they are not coming back.

This way of life was an aberration caused by World War 2.  It never happened before and will not happen the same way again.

Immediately after the end of World War 2 the United States became the most powerful nation in the world and “the American Century” began.  Why and how did this happen?

We emerged from the war with the homeland totally unscathed; our infrastructure, cities and industry emerged from the war as the most modern in the world.  We became the industrial giant of the entire world.

Japan, Germany, France, Holland, Belgium, Italy, Russia and to a large extent the UK had been reduced to rubble by the war.  We had by far the most powerful military in the world armed with the most terrible weapon ever developed.   Hiroshima and Nagasaki were stark reminders of this.

Do you know that post War Great Britain, with their cities in ruins and their economy shattered, had very stringent rationing of fuel, food and clothes well into the 1950’s.  At the same time Americans went on a buying spree unlike any in our history, buying appliances, automobiles and homes, all of which were unavailable during the War.

In 1946, ten million G.I.’s came home in a matter of months, sending women out of the factories and back to home and children. Rosie the Riveter may have built the planes, ships and weapons that won the war but she was fired in mass to make room for the men.  

Women, once freed from the nursery and the kitchen by the critical need for workers during the war, now saw their freedom and independence abruptly ended and did not like it one bit.  Thus the seeds of feminism were born and not a moment too soon!  

My own Mother was one of the first to sign up for gender equality.  She became one of the first females to become a  licensed Real Estate Broker in the State of California.  Seems strange today but real estate was virtually an all male profession prior to the 50’s.

This American monopoly of prosperity and power could not last.  It was built on the misfortune of others.

When the rest of the world recovered and rebuilt their industries and infrastructure we began to have competition in industry and in trade.  A rising tide does lift all boats and the perennially poor nations such as China, India, Malaysia, Korea and war torn Japan began to become industrial powerhouses and soon became First World nations, rather than recipients of our hand-outs.

Sometimes Americans tend to see the world as a zero sum game.  If others advance and prosper; we sometimes feel diminished.  We should be thrilled that the world is getting richer every day.  We should give thanks to whatever Deity we honor that more and more children go to bed on a full stomach, go to school and have hope for a better life  than ever before in human history!

We should celebrate the advances of our brothers and sisters around the globe, but today we envy them.   Hope has been replaced by fear and anger.

Charity and love has been replaced in too many hearts with feelings of loss, helplessness and anger. Only a renewal of the Spirit can remove this stain on our national consciousness and return us to the big-hearted, kind and charitable people that once fed the world, healed the sick and led the way to hope and freedom.

Is there room only for The United States of America in the World Prosperity Club?  Let’s spread the Gospel of Prosperity as ardently as we do the Gospel of Democracy?  

Time to relight that Shining City on the Hill; time to rekindle the American Dream and then export it to the world.

Next post: My take on the solutions.

Be well, speak well and think well, until we are together again

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian, Sarasota, Florida    YouTube.com/revdore

 

Ruminations of the Oldest Valley Boy Baby Boomer.

It is rather interesting to contemplate your 71st birthday arriving in just over one month.  I was born 3 days after the formal surrender of the Japanese which marked the end of World War 2.  Thus, I am probably one of the oldest of the “Boomer” generation, so named for the flood of children that accompanied the return of millions of young men discharged from military service.

1945 was a rare year in which to be born, having the lowest birthrate in US history.  No men, no kids!  As a pioneer boomer I have a unique perspective; my childhood memories span the Swing Era with Tommy Dorsey, Benny Goodman and the Glen Miller Orchestra to Bee Bop in the early 50’s and the Rock and Roll of Chuck Berry, Buddy Holly, and of course the King -Elvis.  I was a kid when Pat Boone was a million seller heart throb who competed with Elvis for #1 on the top 40.

They actually played music on AM Radio and still had series and dramas on the radio.  I guess you could say that my generation was perhaps the last one to have the freedom to roam the neighborhood, ride their bikes to the beach (over the Santa Monica Mountains 15 miles away), get a Driver’s License at 16 and then borrow Mom or Dad’s car. We learned how to make and keep friends on our own, not through arranged “play dates”.  We camped out in pup tents with our buddies in the back yard and walked to school and to the store for sodas and snacks.  Unheard of today.

My high school years were about girls, dances, Friday Night Football and the Marching Band, car clubs, cruising the “Blvd” (Van Nuys Blvd in the San Fernando Valley) penny loafers and peg legged pants. My world was Happy Days played out in real life.  Most of the guys wore “duck tail” hairdos (you shoulda seen mine!)

Lest you think that there was no crime, no child abuse, molestation or danger I will tell you that the crime rate in the US was almost 3 times what it is today.  The difference was that we only knew what the 5 minutes of radio news every hour told us and that was not much.  Mostly about the War in Korea, the Recession in ’58, etc.  No internet, no 24 hour news, no Twitter or Facebook to awfulize every occurrence .  If it did not happen down the street, we did not know or care about it.

Now this idyllic childhood did not take place in small town America but in Los Angeles, California; even in my youth a city of 3 million.  We learned how to take care of ourselves, make and keep friends, to protect ourselves from bullies and how to avoid dangerous situations.   We learned by doing, still the best way to learn anything in my opinion

I am not sure how they did it but it seemed like every student in my elementary, junior high and high school could read, write an intelligent sentence and do at least simple arithmetic.  We all knew our basic US History because we took 3 years of it, plus Civics or US Government.  Were there problems in school?  Sure, fights on the playground, car club gang fights ( no guns, but perhaps a switchblade) but the biggest problem was high school dropouts.  You could quit school at 16 and far too many did.

By the time I got my BA in History and started Grad School, the Hippie Era had arrived in LA with a bang.  Hippies with long hair, serious grunge and radical politics competed on campus with the “straights” (the conservative kids like me).  It was the SDS vs. the Young Republicans.  Interesting time but very turbulent.

I have no nostalgia for this time but I do have a great sense of gratitude for being born into this era and getting to experience mid-century America, the Summer of Love, the Space Age and the run up to the Millennium.  I am now enjoying being a “tech savvy” old guy which surprises many of the millennials that I work with.

The only things I would bring back from that time would be personal freedom, privacy, manners and civility which were very highly prized by those on both sides of the political spectrum.  Was my childhood perfect?  Oh, no!

Prejudice was not just prevalent, it was a way of life.  There were epithets for almost every group except the one you were in and they were used in daily conversation. It was not confined to just to Black or White but to Hispanics, Protestants and Catholics, Jews, different ethnic groups even of European decent.  An Irish kid marrying an Italian girl. No way!  There were epithets for almost every group and they were used in daily conversation.

A Black and White marriage? Unthinkable!  I knew all too well the fruits of prejudice. My mother “disowned” me for marrying a lovely young woman from Belize (then British Honduras)  “Beyond the pale” she said. We never spoke again.

Was this the Golden Age that the “angry old white people” seem to want to bring back?  There were a few things that we would do well to bring back but in the main there was little Gold and way too much hate, judgement and narrow-mindedness in the Baby Boomer Era.

It was a Boom and Bust time where good times and recession alternated every 5 or 6 years.  Over all this “Golden Age” hovered the specter of nuclear war with the Soviet Union.  We practiced Armageddon once every week as the sirens wailed and we dropped under the desk in the bomb drill.  I remember asking my 8th grade English Teacher what good this would do if an Atomic Bomb really did fall.  She had no answer.

The secret to being 70 is the same as the secret to being 25.  You are not your body, you are your mind.  If you see the world from a young man or woman’s perspective, if you still enjoy the things of youth: sports, dancing, fun, romance, sex, joy and play; then in your mind you are 25 and the age of your body becomes irrelevant.  Only when you agree to become old, think old and act old will you really become an old man or woman.  You really age from the inside out.

Yes, looking in the mirror can be challenging sometimes but its what’s inside that counts.  When my lovely, tall flaxen haired wife walks by I feel a lot more like 25 than 70 and that will keep me a young man until I take my last breath.  As long as I can write, laugh, speak and learn new things I will never grow old.

Until we are together again, be well, think well and speak well.

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian, Sarasota, FL   visit my video podcast library on YouTube.com/revdore

 

The Royal Road to Health, Wealth and Happiness

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Don’t we all want to be happy?  Well, I have known some people who seemed to embrace their misery like a lover but thank goodness they are in the minority!  I believe that almost all of us on this planet want to be happy and feel good about the life we have led right up to the final day of our lives.  I want to go out like Steve Jobs: yelling “Wow, Oh Wow”!

There are two roads of life; the Royal Road and the Pauper’s Path and we may choose either one.  You see life does not happen to us; rather we happen to life!  We lead a life, we are not led by Life.  So we get to choose our lives with our thoughts, words (Words are so powerful!) and the choices that spring from them.  In fact, our lives are really just a compendium of our choices and the actions that flow from them.  

To travel the Royal Road we must first understand and believe that we are the motive force of our lives and that we can create any life that we can imagine, speak of with certainty and then choose to create.  

However, if we believe that life happens to us, that we are victims of Fate, Circumstance or the whims of others- then to the Pauper’s Path we shall go!  You see you cannot create anything but misery and failure if you believe that you are a pawn of Fate, Luck, God or other people.  You are merely victim of outside forces, out of control and thus can create nothing positive.  

You have decided to take command of your life and travel the Royal Road.  Great!  This is the path of life that God created you to travel and the road that He/She gave you the power and tools to navigate.  But human beings are not automatons; we have free will so you can choose the Pauper’s Road of suffering, crises and pain, if you desire.  Your power operates in forward or reverse, the choice is yours!  

But you may ask, why would anyone possibly choose the Pauper’s Path?  Is there some power greater than us that sets our feet on the path to desperation, poverty, illness, misery and degradation?  Is it Lucifer, Satan, Beelzebub perhaps?

No, these are creatures that have never existed but fabricated to excuse a life badly lived.  There is only ONE power and Presence in the Universe and that is God, the Good Omnipotent.  So why do so many people trudge down the Pauper’s Path when they have been given the power to cruise down the Royal Road?  One reason is that they have been taught that they are weak worms of the dust and thus are powerless.  There is another reason and it’s that it is so easy to travel the Pauper’s Path, its almost the default setting for many!

In the words of the great Crosby, Stills and Nash song entitled “The Southern Cross”: we never failed to fail, it was the easiest thing to do!  Yes, indeed, it was the easiest thing to do, just give up, let it be and take whatever comes! You can’t beat City Hall, you can’t box with God, the little guy never wins, the game is rigged, you can’t win anyway so why even try?  Thoughts like these are the speedway on to the Pauper’s Path of Life.  You are what you think you are, no more no less. 

I spent way too much time in my life believing that I was “damaged goods” because I had been born with Cerebral Palsy.  I focused on my disabilities and my lack of grace, co-ordination and my weird eyes that went in two different directions.  I spent precious years on the Pauper’s Path when the truth about me was that I was a miracle child, a one in a million baby who recovered 90% from birth condition that is “incurable”.  I was given a pearl of great price but all I could see was the “bad hand I was dealt”.  

I needed a good lesson in gratitude and an appreciation of the joy of a life that I had been given seemingly against all odds.  It took me until almost the age of 50 to finally put my feet on the Royal Road by at last taking responsibility for the far too many marriages, the too many careers abandoned just when success was at hand and the deep anger that erupted like Old Faithful when least expected.  In 1997 I finally gave up my crutches of “damaged goods”, anger and alcohol.  

I quit smoking my pipe as well on that same day and I must say I do miss that occasionally but my dear wife Susan was worth any sacrifice and my pipe and tobacco was a small one.  Even though I am not wealthy yet, I am not famous yet, and even if neither ever comes to pass (I believe both are very close) I am happier than I have ever been.  I am now at the age of wisdom and perspective and still healthy and vigorous enough to enjoy it!

I am 70 now and what a glorious age!  I am healthy, have a wonderful head of silver hair and straight eyes (another miracle of many in my life) a cozy, pretty home on a pond and a lovely woman that is my dearest love.  I am now speeding down the Royal Road because I have finally discovered just how blessed I have always been.  I now know that gratitude is the on ramp to the Royal Road of the Happy Life.  May you cruise the Royal Road!

Gratitude is the Engine Oil, the lubricant of the Universe……Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian   

Turning The Page

Every year on January 1st many millions of people around the world look forward to the New Year and celebrate a new start in life;  a chance for a “do-over”.  We all start fresh, the score is 0-0 and we are filled with hope.

Many of us make New Year’s Resolutions and are sincere in sticking to them….for about 3 days on average!   Then too often we fall back into the old thinking and the old habits and nothing really changes in our lives.  Why is it so hard to change our lives?

Perhaps its because we are trying to change something outside of us called “our life”.  Life is lived within our own minds!  It does not exist except in our thinking, speaking and the choices we make. To change our life we must change our minds at a basic subconscious level and thus change how we think, speak and believe. No inner change, no life change.  Unless you change you it is just the same old same old!

Our subconscious or subjective mind is the seedbed of our reality and our life.  It is like a vast field of consciousness that influences and impels us to think, speak and act in certain ways.  Our parents, our genetic makeup to a small extent, our childhood, teachers and friends all planted seeds in the garden of our subjective mind that creates our core beliefs, our likes, dislikes, prejudices and biases and our attitudes about life, money, sex, religion, work, other people and love. 

We have the power to accept or reject any and all of this programming if we have the will and the courage to do so.  How can we do this?

We change our subjective mind with our objective mind, that part of our mental makeup that we call our conscious mind.  This is where change your thinking and change your life comes in. As Paul told us: ‘think and speak only of things of good report’.  Your conscious thoughts reprogram your subconscious, indeed they are the plow that tills the soil of your subjective or subconscious.  

To begin to build a new Life this January 1st, 2016 you must forget the resolutions; they are only promises you will never keep.  Instead, change your mind from the outside in by thinking about what you will allow in your life, what you deserve to have in your life and what can you believe as true about your life.  Can you have a clear and real picture of the new life that you will live beginning right now?  If not, you will never experience it.  You must see it before you can have it!

You are the programmer of the greatest computer in existence….the human mind, your mind.  Garbage in garbage out is an old IT saying.  Your job is to stop putting negative, fear based garbage into your subconscious and then watch the transformation of your life.  If you are writing a tragedy, change to a comedy or a success story. You are the motive force of your life, the driving wheel,  the author and editor in chief of your novel.

Want a new life?  You will have it the moment you change you and that only happens in your mind.  No one, not even God can do the job for you.

Many of us dream, think, affirm, pray and still never seem to see the changes in their lives that we all so desperately desire.  

Why?  Because, as the great mystic Neville said: too many of us are in a state of constant construction but delayed occupancy!  Yes, we build our lives in our mind with visualization, prayer, meditation, but then we neglect to make it real by guts, willpower and intelligence.  We need to “move our feet” and take action to bring our desires into our home, our bank account and our life. 

Religious Scientists don’t believe in magic, we believe in creative thought followed by directed and intelligent action.  This January 1st, begin the New Year with new thoughts only of things that you will allow in your life and the desires of your heart.  Begin the New Year speaking only of things that are good, loving and fine.  Plant roses in your mental garden and let the weeds starve from neglect.  

Turn the Page!

May 2016 be the most wonderful year in your life and may this be the year that you move into your dream and live it!

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian, Awakened Heart Center for Spiritual Living, Sarasota, Florida.  Chech out my 110 video podcasts on YouTube.com/revdore

Why Are We Here?

Audio Version, click on the link above (speakers on!)

As a minister, I am often asked: “why am I here”?  “What’s my purpose?” This question suggests that we are all on “a mission from God” as Jake and Elwood Blues used to say.  Many people like to believe that each of us has a special role to play in this thing called life.

I believe that they are right but not necessarily in the way they may intend.  Yes, we have a vital purpose here on Earth as part of our never ending eternal journey of the soul.. a purpose no being can fulfill but us!

Jesus taught us that God is a spirit….do not look for Him here, there, or up there.  He is everywhere present all at the same time, in fact God is all that exists!  Once you accept that basic fact then our purpose becomes clearer.  Spirits may observe but not participate, rather like the characters in the great movie “City of Angels”.

Spirits cannot operate in a physical realm, they will never know the glory of an orgasm, the luscious sweet joy of the first bite of a peach, the feel of your little girl’s arms around your neck as she runs to greet you or the smile of your son when he catches the ball you tossed.

God loves us so much that he makes humanity out of the very substance of Itself. We really do live and move and have our being within the body of God.  We swim in God every moment of our lives as a fish swims in the sea.

Our mission on this Earth is to allow the Creator to experience the physical world of His/Her Creations.  We are physical expressions of God, the very creator of all that is.  You want purpose, that is a purpose beyond our imagination.

Remember, God is all there is so God never has a bad day!  It’s all good to the Life Force that creates all.   Our job is to be the best expression of God we can be, to  show the Creator a good time and at the same time live a useful, productive and joy filled life.  Whatever your heart and talent leads you to in life, do it to the best of your ability.  You really are on a mission from God and that mission is one of experiencing the very best life can offer.

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian   YouTube.com/revdore   check out my 122 video podcasts on YouTube.

 

The Perennial Philosophy

 

There is a thread of Truth that runs though all major religions and spiritual philosophies.  From the wisdom of Plato to the Mystery Schools of Egypt; the wonderful love, Light and wisdom of the Zoroastrianism of Persia to today’s Judaism, Christianity, Islam, Buddhism and Hinduism there is a common thread of Spiritual Law and Truth.

Once we strip away the dress codes, the rules for worship, the do’s and don’ts we can see that each religion comes to the same conclusions about life, God and humanity; couched in different language and custom to suit differing cultures and peoples.  The truth is that there is a Divine Mind, a First Cause that is the Creator.

Perhaps its a Life Force, perhaps a Great Soul or a Great Architect of the Universe but it is clear that something greater than the human mind engineered and designed this Universe and many others.  Did we engineer DNA, the pattern of a snowflake, the perfect cocktail of gasses to allow life to thrive on Earth or the miracle of photosynthesis which creates the oxygen we must have?

Did we create the miracle of conception and birth, the perfect balance of plants absorbing CO2 and breathing Oxygen while we breathe Oxygen and exhale CO2? It’s just too perfect to be random.

Consider this:  What is God was a just a nickname for Divine Mind, Universal Intelligence in which we live, move and have our being? What if we swam in this great Mind like a fish swims in the ocean?  What if we lived every hour of our lives immersed in God as our cells are in us?  Kind of blows your mind doesn’t it?

What if God is not our parent but the Mind of the Universe that creates all that is? This God would not punish or reward because only parents do that and God is not a parent.  God would govern the Universe by Law, both physical and spiritual.  What if we really did reap exactly what we sowed?  The Law of Cause and Effect just may be the Mother Law of the Universe!  God is the Cause and all that exists , including us, is the Effect.  What if we have had it backwards all the time?

What if life does not happen to us?  What if we happen to life? What if our thoughts, words and the choices that spring from them are the authors of our lives?

Could it be that we are the creators of our life experience, the “driving wheel” of our life?  What if we are the producer, director and principal actor in our own movie of life?

These questions and thoughts are the essence of the perennial philosophy called New Thought, Unity, Religious Science, Science of Mind and Unity.

What if Science and Spirituality are heading to the same place?  One through study of the Physical Laws of the Universe and the other through Spiritual Law?

You may live to see Science and Faith come together; we already practice these ideas every day in Religious Science and have for almost 300 years in one form or another.

What if Evolution was just God’s update system? Wow, consider that!

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian   YouTube.com/revdore  where you will find 120 video podcasts by Rev. Dore’

Want to find out more?  Subscribe or register to Wakeupandlive.net or log on to CSL.org to find the Center for Spiritual Living near you (our churches).  

The Wise Counselor

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There is an art and science to being a good parent to our grown children.  Where once our word was law, now its just a suggestion.  It comes as a shock for a parent to realize that these are young men and women and it is their time to lead their own lives

There is an old saying that the parent is the bow and the child is the arrow.  If we have been good bows we will have instilled good values and hopefully good judgement in our children.  

It is rather hard to tell my 35 year old, very gorgeous pharmaceutical rep daughter with the six figure salary, company car and perks to die for how to live her life.   She and her four lovely girls are doing just fine.  The best Dad can do is to love her and, if she wishes, offer wise counsel.  

My middle child, lovely, rather exotic Kristen works in the Entertainment Industry (it is LA after all) for a company that handles distribution, contracts and royalties for companies like Red Box and Netflix.  She has a wicked wit and a great sense of humor. 

Her little boy Sean is so handsome he might become a “Hollywood Heartthrob” someday!  With Kris you listen and then show her that you care.  She needs a good mirror and I provide it. 

For a man, sons are a bit different because Dads tend to see themselves in their male children.  Evan, my youngest is in IT sales and is a bit of a geek but way taller than me and movie star handsome.  He is sometimes a bit intense like Dad and can be a goof at times but that is what makes him so lovable.  He is married to a lovely RN named Naomi and has a little boy I call Eli with curly hair and bright blue eyes…sooo handsome. 

My role in this still growing family of 13 is to be a good mirror and wise counsel when they need and want it.  I quietly ask them if they are willing to live with the results of what they are saying, doing or choosing.  I show them the end of the path that they are on without judgement.  That is the role of the wise counselor. 

Here are 4 Rev. Dore’ rules for adult child parenting:

1. Do not try to live your life through your children.  You have your life and they have theirs.  You are no longer responsible for their success or failure.  Give them the space to be themselves, even if that means a mistake or pothole in their path. 

2. Expect that for all that they remind you of you and their Mother (or Father), that they are going to be very different from you.  You did not Xerox your children, you gave birth to them.  They are not copies of you.  

3. Stay out of judgement.  We get into judgement with our children because we feel that their mistakes cast us in a bad light and that its our fault.  They are responsible for their own lives and what they do has little or nothing to do with you and I as parents.  Be a wise counselor, show them where their chosen path will lead and what the consequences will be.  Be a good mirror for them because just like you and I, they don’t see themselves as they really are. 

4. Just love them!  What they really want from a parent is not advice but an ear, a hug and love when no one else will give it.  They want acceptance for who and what they are.  

In fact, that is a good way to treat everyone in your life!  Until we are together again, be well and be happy!

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian   Check out my 120 video podcasts on YouTube.com/revdore    For more information about Religious Science or The Science of Mind log on to CSL.org and find the nearest Center for Spiritual Living near you.

What To Do When a Life Storm Comes

“Son, in each life a little rain must fall”.  I cannot count how many times my wonderful, very Southern mother said this to me. This happened when I came in crying from school after the other kids tormented me because of my goofy name or that I was a “spastic”.

She was telling me that this moment of anger and hurt was not the end of the world; that life has its little storms but I must keep my chin up and all will be well in the morning.  In other words “don’t sweat the small stuff….and it’s all small stuff”.

In our neighborhood of Sherman Oaks in the San Fernando Valley lived two cast members of the Mickey Mouse Club television show.  One was Annette, she was a wonderful friend to me and we spent lots of summer days in her swimming pool talking about growing up and life.  The other cast member was famous for his long mop top and perhaps because of this he was a bully of the first order as a kid.

Every time he saw me he made it his business to beat the stuffing out of me! He was one tough son of a gun. I would run home, shirt bloody, crying and shaking from anger and fear.  Mother’s solution was to tell me to stay away from him and I tried, but to no avail.

Dad had a different solution.  He told me that the bullying won’t stop until you stand up to him. Now Dad was only 5′ 3″ tall so he knew a LOT about bullies in his youth. He said that the secret bullies never want you to know is that they are cowards at heart and feared blood and pain.  Dad’s prescription was to let the Mouseketeer throw the first punch (never start a fight but always finish it) and then I should punch him in the nose as hard as I could because noses bleed profusely without causing much damage.

I got my courage up and did it!  Dad was right!  He ran home crying his eyes out and never bothered me again.  In fact, we eventually became fast friends. We were taught to take care of ourselves and settle our own disputes in those days because it was a lesson in life.  Of course kids weren’t “packing heat” in the 1950’s!

What do we do when our personal sky darkens and the rain comes?  Here is my 3 step cure for a Life Storm:

1. Know that this too shall pass!  When the stuff starts flying we feel like our lives are over; that this is the beginning of the end.  It seems like the pothole in our path is a thousand feet deep and that we are helpless.   Remember, the only constant in the Universe is change!   This too will pass because nothing is forever. You will get through this unless you succumb to panic and lose hope….then you are done!

2. Stay out of fear!  If there were a Satan or Devil it would be FEAR.  No I don’t believe in fallen angels cast out of Heaven or Lucifer or Beelzabub.  There is ONE power and presence is this Universe and that is the Divine Mind, First Cause, The Great Architect that we nickname God.  All that exists begins in the mind of this spiritual Life Force and since we are expressions of that Life Force we create our lives in our minds in the exact same way. 

Fear is the great enemy for it causes mental and spiritual paralysis.  We experience the “deer in the headlight” syndrome.  We stand transfixed with dread and terror and can do nothing to save ourselves.  There is always a solution but only a calm mind and spirit can find it.

3. Take responsibility!  Everything that happens in your life is your responsibility, which is not the same as blame or fault.  Our society is obsessed with assigning blame in every situation, which I believe is a sign of our societal immaturity.  Blame fixes nothing; it is a form of revenge taking and solves little.  We blame others in order to deflect responsibility from the real cause…. US!

Every condition or event in our lives we created in the following three ways.  First we actively created the situation with our thoughts, words and choices.  We did it and we know we did it.  Often we are rebelling from someone of something when this happens.  I call this the “I don’t give a damn!” attitude. 

Second, we promoted the stuff in our life by our attitudes, words or actions that we knew darn well would lead to exactly what we are now experiencing.  For instance, you work for a company that values punctuality in its employees.  But you are late 6 times in 2 months and then feel victimized when you are fired or laid off.  Who created this?  Yes, you did. 

Third, we allow stuff to happen to us by having weak personal boundaries. This is co-dependent behavior which is a classic symptom of weak self esteem.  Have you ever known someone who lurched from crisis to crisis all because they could not say no to anyone who needed help, money or just wanted to sponge off of them?  This is a very common form of creating just the life we don’t want.  Living as an enabler is like living life in a hospital emergency room. 

No is one of the most important words in the English language.  Healthy people can say no without guilt if it is something they do not want to do.  You are responsible for you, no one else.  Help where you can but recognize a lost cause when you see one. 

Once you take responsibility for your life you have grown up spiritually and mentally.  You are now free.  You know that you paint the picture of your life stroke by stroke with your thought, word and deed.  If you painted the picture you can change it. You are the artist.  You are free at last. What you create you can change.  

This is how you navigate the inevitable storms of Life.  This too shall pass, stay out of fear and take responsibility!  

Until we are together again, walk in the Light and Love of God in your coming and going, waking and sleeping. 

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian  YouTube.com/revdore  (check out my 112 video podcasts!   Want to know more about Religious Science (Science of Mind)?  Go to CSL.org and find the nearest Center for Spiritual Living near you.