But We Have Always Done It This Way!

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But we’ve always done it this way!  How often have you heard this?  I hear it daily and it makes me crazy!  Why?  Because as Ralph Waldo Emerson said: “consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds”.  Was he saying that people who are incapable of “thinking outside the box” are stupid or ignorant?  No, I believe that he was saying that they are prisoners of precedent; journeymen on the beaten path of life unable to deviate from the familiar, the safe and the comfortable.

If that is how one chooses to live that is their choice.  It might be a rather hum-drum life however, because the beaten path holds little adventure or drama. It’s safe but rather boring I should think.  It is also the death knell of societies and institutions.

The only real constant in the Universe is change.  As the Bible tells us, “as above, so below” which means that the laws the govern the Cosmos also govern life on Earth.  Evolution is the natural order of all things: living beings, ideas, mores, societies, institutions and civilizations.  Those who refuse to evolve die!

The Koala Bear is a fine example of a charming, cuddly little creature that shows no ability to change or evolve.  It spends its entire life in a Eucalyptus tree and eats only Eucalyptus leaves, even drawing its water from them.  When the “gum trees”, as the Aussies call them, die so will these cute little bear like rodents.  With climate change a certainty, change in all areas of life is no longer optional.

Humans are perhaps the only creatures on Earth not bound by precedent.  We don’t have to live in one place and eat one thing.  We don’t have to think the same thoughts as our ancestors, have the same beliefs, or follow the same outmoded moral code.  We don’t have to worship Deity the way our distant cousins 2015 yeas ago did.

We can write a new chapter, film a new movie, create a new way of life. Yes, change can be scary and disruptive and it’s no wonder that many of us are frightened by the lightening fast changes in our culture, our way of life and in our world.  Many of us succumb to the “Golden Age Syndrome” as we fixate on a time or place when things were idyllic and life was perfect.  We want to go back to an era that never existed, except in our mind’s eye.

There is an old saying that says: “you can’t go home again” and its true.  Oh, yes you can literally move back to the old neighborhood but its not the old neighborhood anymore is it? The houses have been torn down or been renovated; the people no longer look just like you, and it just doesn’t feel like the neighborhood of your youth.  I just experienced this feeling touring the Sherman Oaks neighborhood of my youth.  Dore’ was no longer at home there.

The 50’s are often cited as the “golden age” of America.  The G.I.’s came home by the millions in a matter of months in late 1945 and 1946 into a society suddenly thrust from a war footing to civilian life again.  Nothing was available during the war; cars, appliances, tires, fuel, meat, all sorts of consumer goods were rationed or not available.

If you had a pulse you had a job; every factory was being retooled for civilian production and most jobs were union jobs with high wages and lush benefits.  Post War America was a different world in which the USA was the only major industrial power never to feel the horrors and destruction of war, we were safe behind our oceans, we had “The Bomb” and were the masters of the world.

For some it was a golden age, but not so much if you were not of European descent.  Prejudice was rampant in the 50’s of my youth.  There were slur names for almost every nationality, even the White ones!  A Catholic marrying a Protestant….scandal!  A Jew moved in down the block or worse yet Hispanic or what we called Negros, when being polite!  Wow, you could watch the For Sale signs bloom like dandelions on the lawns.  Some Golden Age!  More like the Age of judgement, conformity and sameness.  And I grew up in Los Angeles; imagine life in New Orleans, Dallas or Atlanta in 1950!

You see, we just can’t stand still in this thing called life.  There was a wonderful little book called “Who Moved My Cheese?” which became required reading in Corporate America.  The lesson of this book is that if you are a mouse and the cheese moves, you best move to another supply of cheese or starve.  Those who cling to the past are doomed, in the final analysis. 

Change is the natural order of things, it is the way the Great Architect renews and refreshes His/Her Creations.  Perhaps the way you always did it was not the best way.  Have a new thought, try a new way.  You just might surprise yourself and begin a whole new life full of joy, discovery and growth.

Until we are together again…..Remember, your life is the Life of God, your Love is the Love of God, your Mind is the Mind of God.

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian  

be sure to check out my 121 video podcasts on YouTube.com/revdore

 

Why Are We Here?

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As a minister, I am often asked: “why am I here”?  “What’s my purpose?” This question suggests that we are all on “a mission from God” as Jake and Elwood Blues used to say.  Many people like to believe that each of us has a special role to play in this thing called life.

I believe that they are right but not necessarily in the way they may intend.  Yes, we have a vital purpose here on Earth as part of our never ending eternal journey of the soul.. a purpose no being can fulfill but us!

Jesus taught us that God is a spirit….do not look for Him here, there, or up there.  He is everywhere present all at the same time, in fact God is all that exists!  Once you accept that basic fact then our purpose becomes clearer.  Spirits may observe but not participate, rather like the characters in the great movie “City of Angels”.

Spirits cannot operate in a physical realm, they will never know the glory of an orgasm, the luscious sweet joy of the first bite of a peach, the feel of your little girl’s arms around your neck as she runs to greet you or the smile of your son when he catches the ball you tossed.

God loves us so much that he makes humanity out of the very substance of Itself. We really do live and move and have our being within the body of God.  We swim in God every moment of our lives as a fish swims in the sea.

Our mission on this Earth is to allow the Creator to experience the physical world of His/Her Creations.  We are physical expressions of God, the very creator of all that is.  You want purpose, that is a purpose beyond our imagination.

Remember, God is all there is so God never has a bad day!  It’s all good to the Life Force that creates all.   Our job is to be the best expression of God we can be, to  show the Creator a good time and at the same time live a useful, productive and joy filled life.  Whatever your heart and talent leads you to in life, do it to the best of your ability.  You really are on a mission from God and that mission is one of experiencing the very best life can offer.

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian   YouTube.com/revdore   check out my 122 video podcasts on YouTube.

 

The Wise Counselor

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There is an art and science to being a good parent to our grown children.  Where once our word was law, now its just a suggestion.  It comes as a shock for a parent to realize that these are young men and women and it is their time to lead their own lives

There is an old saying that the parent is the bow and the child is the arrow.  If we have been good bows we will have instilled good values and hopefully good judgement in our children.  

It is rather hard to tell my 35 year old, very gorgeous pharmaceutical rep daughter with the six figure salary, company car and perks to die for how to live her life.   She and her four lovely girls are doing just fine.  The best Dad can do is to love her and, if she wishes, offer wise counsel.  

My middle child, lovely, rather exotic Kristen works in the Entertainment Industry (it is LA after all) for a company that handles distribution, contracts and royalties for companies like Red Box and Netflix.  She has a wicked wit and a great sense of humor. 

Her little boy Sean is so handsome he might become a “Hollywood Heartthrob” someday!  With Kris you listen and then show her that you care.  She needs a good mirror and I provide it. 

For a man, sons are a bit different because Dads tend to see themselves in their male children.  Evan, my youngest is in IT sales and is a bit of a geek but way taller than me and movie star handsome.  He is sometimes a bit intense like Dad and can be a goof at times but that is what makes him so lovable.  He is married to a lovely RN named Naomi and has a little boy I call Eli with curly hair and bright blue eyes…sooo handsome. 

My role in this still growing family of 13 is to be a good mirror and wise counsel when they need and want it.  I quietly ask them if they are willing to live with the results of what they are saying, doing or choosing.  I show them the end of the path that they are on without judgement.  That is the role of the wise counselor. 

Here are 4 Rev. Dore’ rules for adult child parenting:

1. Do not try to live your life through your children.  You have your life and they have theirs.  You are no longer responsible for their success or failure.  Give them the space to be themselves, even if that means a mistake or pothole in their path. 

2. Expect that for all that they remind you of you and their Mother (or Father), that they are going to be very different from you.  You did not Xerox your children, you gave birth to them.  They are not copies of you.  

3. Stay out of judgement.  We get into judgement with our children because we feel that their mistakes cast us in a bad light and that its our fault.  They are responsible for their own lives and what they do has little or nothing to do with you and I as parents.  Be a wise counselor, show them where their chosen path will lead and what the consequences will be.  Be a good mirror for them because just like you and I, they don’t see themselves as they really are. 

4. Just love them!  What they really want from a parent is not advice but an ear, a hug and love when no one else will give it.  They want acceptance for who and what they are.  

In fact, that is a good way to treat everyone in your life!  Until we are together again, be well and be happy!

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian   Check out my 120 video podcasts on YouTube.com/revdore    For more information about Religious Science or The Science of Mind log on to CSL.org and find the nearest Center for Spiritual Living near you.

What To Do When a Life Storm Comes

“Son, in each life a little rain must fall”.  I cannot count how many times my wonderful, very Southern mother said this to me. This happened when I came in crying from school after the other kids tormented me because of my goofy name or that I was a “spastic”.

She was telling me that this moment of anger and hurt was not the end of the world; that life has its little storms but I must keep my chin up and all will be well in the morning.  In other words “don’t sweat the small stuff….and it’s all small stuff”.

In our neighborhood of Sherman Oaks in the San Fernando Valley lived two cast members of the Mickey Mouse Club television show.  One was Annette, she was a wonderful friend to me and we spent lots of summer days in her swimming pool talking about growing up and life.  The other cast member was famous for his long mop top and perhaps because of this he was a bully of the first order as a kid.

Every time he saw me he made it his business to beat the stuffing out of me! He was one tough son of a gun. I would run home, shirt bloody, crying and shaking from anger and fear.  Mother’s solution was to tell me to stay away from him and I tried, but to no avail.

Dad had a different solution.  He told me that the bullying won’t stop until you stand up to him. Now Dad was only 5′ 3″ tall so he knew a LOT about bullies in his youth. He said that the secret bullies never want you to know is that they are cowards at heart and feared blood and pain.  Dad’s prescription was to let the Mouseketeer throw the first punch (never start a fight but always finish it) and then I should punch him in the nose as hard as I could because noses bleed profusely without causing much damage.

I got my courage up and did it!  Dad was right!  He ran home crying his eyes out and never bothered me again.  In fact, we eventually became fast friends. We were taught to take care of ourselves and settle our own disputes in those days because it was a lesson in life.  Of course kids weren’t “packing heat” in the 1950’s!

What do we do when our personal sky darkens and the rain comes?  Here is my 3 step cure for a Life Storm:

1. Know that this too shall pass!  When the stuff starts flying we feel like our lives are over; that this is the beginning of the end.  It seems like the pothole in our path is a thousand feet deep and that we are helpless.   Remember, the only constant in the Universe is change!   This too will pass because nothing is forever. You will get through this unless you succumb to panic and lose hope….then you are done!

2. Stay out of fear!  If there were a Satan or Devil it would be FEAR.  No I don’t believe in fallen angels cast out of Heaven or Lucifer or Beelzabub.  There is ONE power and presence is this Universe and that is the Divine Mind, First Cause, The Great Architect that we nickname God.  All that exists begins in the mind of this spiritual Life Force and since we are expressions of that Life Force we create our lives in our minds in the exact same way. 

Fear is the great enemy for it causes mental and spiritual paralysis.  We experience the “deer in the headlight” syndrome.  We stand transfixed with dread and terror and can do nothing to save ourselves.  There is always a solution but only a calm mind and spirit can find it.

3. Take responsibility!  Everything that happens in your life is your responsibility, which is not the same as blame or fault.  Our society is obsessed with assigning blame in every situation, which I believe is a sign of our societal immaturity.  Blame fixes nothing; it is a form of revenge taking and solves little.  We blame others in order to deflect responsibility from the real cause…. US!

Every condition or event in our lives we created in the following three ways.  First we actively created the situation with our thoughts, words and choices.  We did it and we know we did it.  Often we are rebelling from someone of something when this happens.  I call this the “I don’t give a damn!” attitude. 

Second, we promoted the stuff in our life by our attitudes, words or actions that we knew darn well would lead to exactly what we are now experiencing.  For instance, you work for a company that values punctuality in its employees.  But you are late 6 times in 2 months and then feel victimized when you are fired or laid off.  Who created this?  Yes, you did. 

Third, we allow stuff to happen to us by having weak personal boundaries. This is co-dependent behavior which is a classic symptom of weak self esteem.  Have you ever known someone who lurched from crisis to crisis all because they could not say no to anyone who needed help, money or just wanted to sponge off of them?  This is a very common form of creating just the life we don’t want.  Living as an enabler is like living life in a hospital emergency room. 

No is one of the most important words in the English language.  Healthy people can say no without guilt if it is something they do not want to do.  You are responsible for you, no one else.  Help where you can but recognize a lost cause when you see one. 

Once you take responsibility for your life you have grown up spiritually and mentally.  You are now free.  You know that you paint the picture of your life stroke by stroke with your thought, word and deed.  If you painted the picture you can change it. You are the artist.  You are free at last. What you create you can change.  

This is how you navigate the inevitable storms of Life.  This too shall pass, stay out of fear and take responsibility!  

Until we are together again, walk in the Light and Love of God in your coming and going, waking and sleeping. 

Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian  YouTube.com/revdore  (check out my 112 video podcasts!   Want to know more about Religious Science (Science of Mind)?  Go to CSL.org and find the nearest Center for Spiritual Living near you.