“Son, in each life a little rain must fall”. I cannot count how many times my wonderful, very Southern mother said this to me. This happened when I came in crying from school after the other kids tormented me because of my goofy name or that I was a “spastic”.
She was telling me that this moment of anger and hurt was not the end of the world; that life has its little storms but I must keep my chin up and all will be well in the morning. In other words “don’t sweat the small stuff….and it’s all small stuff”.
In our neighborhood of Sherman Oaks in the San Fernando Valley lived two cast members of the Mickey Mouse Club television show. One was Annette, she was a wonderful friend to me and we spent lots of summer days in her swimming pool talking about growing up and life. The other cast member was famous for his long mop top and perhaps because of this he was a bully of the first order as a kid.
Every time he saw me he made it his business to beat the stuffing out of me! He was one tough son of a gun. I would run home, shirt bloody, crying and shaking from anger and fear. Mother’s solution was to tell me to stay away from him and I tried, but to no avail.
Dad had a different solution. He told me that the bullying won’t stop until you stand up to him. Now Dad was only 5′ 3″ tall so he knew a LOT about bullies in his youth. He said that the secret bullies never want you to know is that they are cowards at heart and feared blood and pain. Dad’s prescription was to let the Mouseketeer throw the first punch (never start a fight but always finish it) and then I should punch him in the nose as hard as I could because noses bleed profusely without causing much damage.
I got my courage up and did it! Dad was right! He ran home crying his eyes out and never bothered me again. In fact, we eventually became fast friends. We were taught to take care of ourselves and settle our own disputes in those days because it was a lesson in life. Of course kids weren’t “packing heat” in the 1950’s!
What do we do when our personal sky darkens and the rain comes? Here is my 3 step cure for a Life Storm:
1. Know that this too shall pass! When the stuff starts flying we feel like our lives are over; that this is the beginning of the end. It seems like the pothole in our path is a thousand feet deep and that we are helpless. Remember, the only constant in the Universe is change! This too will pass because nothing is forever. You will get through this unless you succumb to panic and lose hope….then you are done!
2. Stay out of fear! If there were a Satan or Devil it would be FEAR. No I don’t believe in fallen angels cast out of Heaven or Lucifer or Beelzabub. There is ONE power and presence is this Universe and that is the Divine Mind, First Cause, The Great Architect that we nickname God. All that exists begins in the mind of this spiritual Life Force and since we are expressions of that Life Force we create our lives in our minds in the exact same way.
Fear is the great enemy for it causes mental and spiritual paralysis. We experience the “deer in the headlight” syndrome. We stand transfixed with dread and terror and can do nothing to save ourselves. There is always a solution but only a calm mind and spirit can find it.
3. Take responsibility! Everything that happens in your life is your responsibility, which is not the same as blame or fault. Our society is obsessed with assigning blame in every situation, which I believe is a sign of our societal immaturity. Blame fixes nothing; it is a form of revenge taking and solves little. We blame others in order to deflect responsibility from the real cause…. US!
Every condition or event in our lives we created in the following three ways. First we actively created the situation with our thoughts, words and choices. We did it and we know we did it. Often we are rebelling from someone of something when this happens. I call this the “I don’t give a damn!” attitude.
Second, we promoted the stuff in our life by our attitudes, words or actions that we knew darn well would lead to exactly what we are now experiencing. For instance, you work for a company that values punctuality in its employees. But you are late 6 times in 2 months and then feel victimized when you are fired or laid off. Who created this? Yes, you did.
Third, we allow stuff to happen to us by having weak personal boundaries. This is co-dependent behavior which is a classic symptom of weak self esteem. Have you ever known someone who lurched from crisis to crisis all because they could not say no to anyone who needed help, money or just wanted to sponge off of them? This is a very common form of creating just the life we don’t want. Living as an enabler is like living life in a hospital emergency room.
No is one of the most important words in the English language. Healthy people can say no without guilt if it is something they do not want to do. You are responsible for you, no one else. Help where you can but recognize a lost cause when you see one.
Once you take responsibility for your life you have grown up spiritually and mentally. You are now free. You know that you paint the picture of your life stroke by stroke with your thought, word and deed. If you painted the picture you can change it. You are the artist. You are free at last. What you create you can change.
This is how you navigate the inevitable storms of Life. This too shall pass, stay out of fear and take responsibility!
Until we are together again, walk in the Light and Love of God in your coming and going, waking and sleeping.
Rev. Dore’ Jacques Patlian YouTube.com/revdore (check out my 112 video podcasts! Want to know more about Religious Science (Science of Mind)? Go to CSL.org and find the nearest Center for Spiritual Living near you.